Experience and Expression by Joshua Adam Haltom

There was a time that I defined my husband as a person who communicate himself using extensive metaphoric expression.  Yes he was perfectly aware about it in fact in the lyrics of the song he wrote for me which entitled "Lady Bug" he said there, "words and feeling do not so much define my meaning."  

This is funny but true that  even the people he was talking with, sometimes had a drop-jaw experience whenever they talked with him because of the words he was using to communicate himself and even his ideas.  Amazed and stunned, they turned and looked at me saying, Josh is smart.  Different people, same comment.   

Reactive Addiction

Just today, I had seen the deepest condition of my heart.   The part that was hidden for a long time and unknowingly sugar coated.  It was unveiled after a long stretched of denials.   I admitted it to myself, I had a "reactive addiction."   I admitted to God that I had nurtured and fed this addiction for a long time.  At first, I was in denial.  I thought, I was right most all of the time.  I thought it was a righteous anger.  Is this real?  I prayed for this first and evaluated myself before sharing it to  Joshua (my husband), to our Pastor and the whole body of Christ (during the early morning service with my husband permission).  I decided to make a decision of breaking the crazy cycle of my reactive addiction (reacting on a certain situation or circumstances based on the first impulse of my emotions omitting the principle of responding in faith in God's words).