When I first accepted Christ in my life as my personal Savior, I became interested to know the ways of being a Christian and its life style. Everything was new for me, the so called Christian relationship as brothers and sisters, the fellowship and the deeper and most heartfelt way of a Christian to worship God intrigue me a lot, and it was something that made me thirsty to know about. I started attending fellowship, prayer meeting, prayer night, Christian youth concert, worship, Bible studies, youth camp and most of the Church gathering, you name it! I joined it! The worldly cup that I had when my flesh was in a relationship with the world became empty and thirsted to know Christ more deeply.
The concept of accountability was introduced to me by constantly attending Church services. I attended a Church cell group. The cell group that I first attended was a group of girls years younger than me and mostly students that were committed to grow in faith with Christ Jesus by being accountable with one another and to God by weekly fellowship, testimonials and sharing each others insight on how the words of God written in the Bible spoke and became true in their lives. At first, I was anxious to share my own stories and struggles I faced at work, and the people I dealt with and even my own weaknesses with them for I thought their comprehension towards my experiences as an older person was not that vast. But I was amazed on how they reacted and listened, they were guided by the Holy Spirit and the wisdom by fearing The Lord. That time my knowledge about how the Holy Spirit works was limited. That time on I became more open to my sisters in cell group and became more intentionally accountable. There were times that I couldn't wait not to see them just to share how God answered my prayers and to encourage them more to know the Lord and to claim what He said in His promises. I became on fire in loving Christ.
Before my relationship with Christ started, I kept my problem within me. I had a pride not to disclosed it to anyone for I thought it was shameful. Plus I had a mindset not to become dependent with anyone. Probably I grew up like that. I was afraid of correction, there was a pride to accept my fault. By God's grace, the hard core mindset that I had was change. There was a clear admission on my part that I was powerless over my own weaknesses and character defects that resulted my life to become unmanageable.
The path that I had taken without seeking guidance and done in a secret manner to hide the truth was miserable. It was like a cross road and without an exact route. The principle of counseling became true to my life after I had painfully reaped all the consequences of my sinful choices. The bible says in Proverbs 15:22 "Plans fail with lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed". I intentionally open up my heart first to God, wrote Him a notes and asked His guidance on my daily decisions as simple as what to eat, what to wear, and mostly in major decisions such as resigning in a job and relational matter like seeking His guidance about my future husband. Intentionally disclosing my heart desires, burden and plan to my accountability partners was secondary to God. Intentionally considering God's authority in my life is my discipline and training to myself. I never by pass His authority. I failed God? Yes, many times. Will I worship Him? Yes. Why? Because God is not limited, He will never leave me nor forsake me and I can attest to that.
Years later, a certain situation that made my faith in Christ more stronger had happened. A time wherein I fully understood how powerful God words are and how the Holy Spirit guided me all through out. I felt that my calling was not at the Church I first grew up with spiritually. There was a desire within me that I myself couldn't explain at that time. I cried to God and asked Him about it. I thought I was just being emotional with my reactions when I received the words from God in the Bible saying I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you (Psalm 32:8 NIV). That time, I was planning to left my job and had a desire to spent time with my family before getting married because there was a desire in my heart that my ministry for God with my future husband will be in a far away land. I cried to The Lord, I asked Him about it and He answered by giving the same passage through different people and situation at different days. He assured to me that His Heavenly knowledge will be upon me. I resigned and spent time with my family. For a matter of months I was jobless but God delivered what He said to me. He instructed me what to do, He became my Heavenly mentor, His words became more clear to me. He was preparing me for a greater things to come. I shall say that was one of the best time of my spiritual walk with The Holy Spirit, I learned to live by faith and not by sight. My purpose was revealed to me, I discovered the spiritual gifts that I received from God. I fully understand my calling to preach the gospel obediently. In the midst of hesitation, His words became more powerful to me. He kept on reminding me that He will instruct me and teach me in the way I should go. He is my counselor, the God who created everything. He exposed me with different needs in the ministry, and the great importance of sharing the gospel about Christ Jesus and accepting Him as our Savior. He taught me how to work for His kingdom enlargement on earth, He taught me how to served Him by serving others. He taught me everything that I need to learned as part of His detailed preparation for the greater things to come on my way. He instilled in my heart and soul the patience on waiting.
Another chapter of God's purpose for my life was revealed to me. I had a job offered back to the City. I got an opportunity to worship and fellowship with the Church I was first nourished spiritually. But a certain situation in my life happened that turned my world upside down and had experience a great spiritual depression. I was broken before the Lord. I had no one with me except God. I believed God orchestrated that situation for me not to lean on my own understanding, but to fully trust Him with all my heart. I was confident to receive blessings from the people that surrounds me by doing the things that might please them, but God's thought was different than my thought. God was shaping me not to be like that. My heart agenda was revealed to me and it was oppositely different to God's agenda in my life. This great spiritual depression led me to joined a Discipleship group (D-groups) at Christ Commission Fellowship (CCF).
The D-group that I joined was led by a single parent. During my first session with them I found out that most of them were single parents and that was contrary to what I prayed for. I asked God to bring me to a group wherein I will be disciple by a wife, and a mother. When I uttered that prayer, I was expecting that a wife is still in a marriage with a husband but God's thoughts are not my thoughts and His plan for me is to prosper me and not to harm me. It became clear to me that I was exactly led to a green pasture wherein I was molded by our discipler following the teaching of Christ Jesus, a single parent whose husband is not of flesh but a savior and Lord Jesus Christ. Our D-group meet regularly to hang out, study the Bible, and give members mutual encouragement. We can unload our problems, ask questions, air our spiritual concerns, and also celebrate our achievements with people who know what we are going through, to pray diligently for each others burden. We laugh and we cried together, as a group and a follower of Christ . We witnessed the ups and downs of each other, the strike of the enemy both physically and spiritually. We were pressed but not crushed, together we were perplexed but not in despair. The spiritual depression I had became an opportunity for me to grow intimately with the Love of God through fellowship with these wonderful women and mothers whose hearts desires to glorify God for me to be equipped, and be molded to what I must needed to became and fully acknowledge the Lordship of Christ. The group grew bigger and more single women were added and were being counseled and disciple to be in love with Christ daily.
My Counseling and discipleship sessions didn't end there, now that I am in a far away land miles from were I use to lived in and entered a new chapter of life God has for me, which is being a wife, the more I needed to be grounded by God's words. My husband and I are attending a skypleship session which is pattern with a principle of D-group though through skype and still under CCF.
I will say God is not finished with me yet, I believe His best for my life is continuously happening and yet to come. I will trust and obey Him, confess my sins and ask forgiveness and that He will hears my prayer and will always acknowledge His counsel and how He disciples me. As for me and my household and generations to come will serve the Lord.
John 16:13
English Standard Version (ESV)
13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.
